This post shares as personal story of life falling apart in 2019. In writing I'm aware of what a visceral, embodied and physical thing grieving is, and how it's not something we easily embrace.
Hi Chris, dear friend from long ago, from the season before the one you describe. As I read your story I really felt the relief and grief. It’s so good to have it in writing and to be able to publish it. I am a firm believer of giving voice to the tragedy and bringing the dark stuff into the light. Healing takes courage and I am so glad you were brave enough to go there and brave enough to hold on. I hope this story gives others license to be honest and courage to ask for help. Bless you brother. I wish we were closer by and could share more. Love you.
Hey Emily, thank you. So lovely to have your perspective here from, as you say, the season before. And yes, that's my hope too in sharing this; to give some courage where is needed for others to ask for help, to give voice to tragedy, and to share a little more deeply this human adventure.
So much compassion and respect for the journey you’ve been on. Touched by the sweet pivotal napping moment with Oshi. And resonate with the sense of dropping down to find / feel held on truly firm ground.
Also deeply touched by and resonate with the noticing of layers of grief. I experienced something similar with the end of a very significant relationship - finding that I was grieving unmet needs from childhood as well as from within that relationship. Amazing how these moments can be portals into facing (and hopefully holding / healing) all sorts of things.
Thanks Laura. Yup, that moment with Oshi was one of the sweetest. And yes, thank you for sharing the resonance with your story. It seems to be quite a shared experience... that we (somehow) create the necessary conditions for us to complete the unfinished grieving that we have inside us. As you say, valuable portals into facing all sorts.
Thank you Chris. So much of this resonates with me. Beautiful and open words. Over the last 5+ years my life has also been effected by divorce, death, grief, breakdown and mania. To read your words makes me feel, for the first time in a long time, that I'm not alone and that my journey has meaning. I discovered you via an article you wrote about Buddhafield, off there tomorrow. I'm a Bristol resident. Maybe our paths will cross one day. Wishing you well. Thanks again. Ollie
Thank you for this heartfelt sharing. This piece really stood out for me:
'that I'm not alone and that my journey has meaning'
Yes, in our fractured world in which isolation is rampant it's all to easy for us to feel (and to literally be) alone which makes all this so much harder. I found it amazingly healing when I'd share my story with a friend and they'd open up about their experiences of depression, or grief, or that the also once had a manic episode, or whatever it was.
I'm really glad this has touched you Ollie and thanks for the bravery to share a comment here.
I've got a story to tell too, and I have a feeling It should be shared too, but I'll admit to my own apprehension about doing that. Your piece is pulling me in what I believe is the right direction.. much love xxx
aaaah! Paul. This is so lovely to hear. Thank you for sharing. I think these stories are good to share though all in good time. If you want an help with putting it out there somehow when it feels like a good moment then just get in touch.
Thank you for sharing and much respect for your path! Sharing the story of my own meltdown last year is on my to-do list since a while and this helped bring it closer :)
I specially identify with the sense of stability for having hit rock bottom! Being vulnerable is so easy now in comparison...
Yup, that's such a lovely sense right? The stability of having hit rock bottom. I love the way that you've put that. Makes it much more simple and straight forward.
Thanks Adam, In hindsight it seems obvious, but at the moment it was a genuine realisation. And as I said in the article, it felt like a moment of grace or a gift from something outside of myself.
Thank you so much for sharing this story Chris. Its raw and honest to read. I love that it's not a sanitised or polished version of the heroes journey. You capture the messiness and the struggle and the moments of clarity beautifully. And you were also an awesome coach whilst going through all this, supporting me when I came back from the jungle (which was around that time, July 2019) and felt like my life wasn't mine anymore and the waves of grief and sadness I felt. From reading your story I can see you were able to hold me in that because you were holding yourself in it too. Love you Chris xxx
Hi Chris, dear friend from long ago, from the season before the one you describe. As I read your story I really felt the relief and grief. It’s so good to have it in writing and to be able to publish it. I am a firm believer of giving voice to the tragedy and bringing the dark stuff into the light. Healing takes courage and I am so glad you were brave enough to go there and brave enough to hold on. I hope this story gives others license to be honest and courage to ask for help. Bless you brother. I wish we were closer by and could share more. Love you.
Hey Emily, thank you. So lovely to have your perspective here from, as you say, the season before. And yes, that's my hope too in sharing this; to give some courage where is needed for others to ask for help, to give voice to tragedy, and to share a little more deeply this human adventure.
So much compassion and respect for the journey you’ve been on. Touched by the sweet pivotal napping moment with Oshi. And resonate with the sense of dropping down to find / feel held on truly firm ground.
Also deeply touched by and resonate with the noticing of layers of grief. I experienced something similar with the end of a very significant relationship - finding that I was grieving unmet needs from childhood as well as from within that relationship. Amazing how these moments can be portals into facing (and hopefully holding / healing) all sorts of things.
Thanks Laura. Yup, that moment with Oshi was one of the sweetest. And yes, thank you for sharing the resonance with your story. It seems to be quite a shared experience... that we (somehow) create the necessary conditions for us to complete the unfinished grieving that we have inside us. As you say, valuable portals into facing all sorts.
Thank you Chris. So much of this resonates with me. Beautiful and open words. Over the last 5+ years my life has also been effected by divorce, death, grief, breakdown and mania. To read your words makes me feel, for the first time in a long time, that I'm not alone and that my journey has meaning. I discovered you via an article you wrote about Buddhafield, off there tomorrow. I'm a Bristol resident. Maybe our paths will cross one day. Wishing you well. Thanks again. Ollie
Hey Ollie,
Thank you for this heartfelt sharing. This piece really stood out for me:
'that I'm not alone and that my journey has meaning'
Yes, in our fractured world in which isolation is rampant it's all to easy for us to feel (and to literally be) alone which makes all this so much harder. I found it amazingly healing when I'd share my story with a friend and they'd open up about their experiences of depression, or grief, or that the also once had a manic episode, or whatever it was.
I'm really glad this has touched you Ollie and thanks for the bravery to share a comment here.
Thankyou Chris. Honest, eloquent and clear.
I've got a story to tell too, and I have a feeling It should be shared too, but I'll admit to my own apprehension about doing that. Your piece is pulling me in what I believe is the right direction.. much love xxx
aaaah! Paul. This is so lovely to hear. Thank you for sharing. I think these stories are good to share though all in good time. If you want an help with putting it out there somehow when it feels like a good moment then just get in touch.
Thank you for sharing and much respect for your path! Sharing the story of my own meltdown last year is on my to-do list since a while and this helped bring it closer :)
I specially identify with the sense of stability for having hit rock bottom! Being vulnerable is so easy now in comparison...
Nice one Daniel!
Yup, that's such a lovely sense right? The stability of having hit rock bottom. I love the way that you've put that. Makes it much more simple and straight forward.
Nice one brother 🙏🏼
Honouring your grief and your self-perceptiveness connecting the one with the other on relationship and mother.
Adam
Thanks Adam, In hindsight it seems obvious, but at the moment it was a genuine realisation. And as I said in the article, it felt like a moment of grace or a gift from something outside of myself.
God bless you man. 😌 I feel confident good things will be coming to you in abundance 🌟
Beautiful ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing this story Chris. Its raw and honest to read. I love that it's not a sanitised or polished version of the heroes journey. You capture the messiness and the struggle and the moments of clarity beautifully. And you were also an awesome coach whilst going through all this, supporting me when I came back from the jungle (which was around that time, July 2019) and felt like my life wasn't mine anymore and the waves of grief and sadness I felt. From reading your story I can see you were able to hold me in that because you were holding yourself in it too. Love you Chris xxx